


I want you so much, but I hate your guts

by vivial



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, F/M, Frustration, Jedi Training, Love, Mandalore, Prequel, References to the Jedi Council, Sexual Frustration
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-25
Updated: 2015-07-28
Packaged: 2018-03-25 15:53:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3816220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vivial/pseuds/vivial
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Obi-Wan Kenobi is a Padawan who lacks patience and empathy. During his quest on Mandalore within his master, Qui-Gon Jinn, he constantly argue with Duchess Satine, who is as young and stubborn as he is. Following a slow path, they just yell at each other, trying to fix their hopes and urges and anger,  when they wanted each other really bad but hated each other just as well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Apart

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there! First, I need to warn you that I am not a native English speaker, so the text might have some grammar mistakes.  
> Second, I hope this fanfic is not too sticky and icky, because I just need cute Obitine feelings.  
> I rated Mature for I wasn't sure if I'd write some inappropriate things. Still not sure about it!  
> Third: I tried really hard to follow canon stuff but it not very accurate. Do not kill me. Bye!

"This can't be true!" Obi-Wan Kenobi complained out loud when he heard Qui-Gon's new orders. "Master... You cannot be serious about this!"

"Yes, I am" Qui-Gon's smirk made Obi-Wan angrier than he was already. "Master, you can't do this to me!" Obi-Wan said, furious with his master's plot. "I just did it, Obi-Wan" Qui-Gon said, packing his stuff, almost ignoring his Padawan's pleas.

"YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME ALONE WITH HER!" Obi-Wan yelled and Qui-Gon stared at him, finally angry with his attitude. "Sorry, Master, but I'm-- I'm not ready to be left on my own. This place is dangerous and you insist in giving me such responsibility!"

Qui-Gon finished packing his things, then picked his backpack and stared deeply at a Obi-Wan's eyes. "We need to split up if we want to make it all alive" he explained.

"Then take that... _Thing_ with you, master!" Obi-Wan mumbled, angry.

"That _thing_ is called Satine and she happens to be the Duchess of this system. I know she is hard to bear but try to be a little empathetic with her. Her system is being attacked by vicious folks that want her dead. Patience, my Padawan."

"That girl will be the death of me" Obi-Wan complained, now packing his things. "I'm telling you, Master. She is so... So..."

" _So_...? What? Can't you finish a sentence?" Her soft voice made Obi-Wan angrier with that plan. He would die if they ended up alone.

"You're stubborn. Just deal with it!" He shouted. Satine rolled her eyes, ignoring the young Padawan. She turned to Qui-Gon, her blue eyes wide open in fear.

"Are you sure this is a good idea, Master Jinn?" She asked, holding her own hands. "I do not doubt _your_ abilities as a Jedi, but I'm afraid your Padawan is way too young for this mission."

Qui-Gon smiled to the duchess and Obi-Wan knew he would say the same words he just said to him.

"Obi-Wan is more than capable of protecting you, my duchess. He is not only very skilled with the lightsaber but he also is very intelligent. And so are you, my duchess, and you two will succeed, together."

"I doubt that!" They said together then looked at each other's eyes, as if they were crazy. Then Satine sighed. "But if you say so, Master Jinn, I will believe _in you_."

Obi-Wan was relieved that he did not need to say anything to his master. Qui-Gon laughed at him the whole day.

 

Their cave was in the middle of Mandalore, a location full of wild trees and plants and very humid. The bounty hunters were left behind, but Qui-Gon said they would eventually find them and that's why he wanted to split up. The Death Watch wanted Satine dead, for she represented freedom to her people while their violent philosophy meant war and blood. Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan's mission was to protect the duchess and take her to the true mandalorian side, where her allies were fighting to save the system.

Qui-Gon went back to the bounty hunters, so Obi-Wan and Satine would have an advantage. Satine was one year older than Obi-Wan, as taller as he was and she was the one commanding everything. Obi-Wan was angry, but his master told him to not upset Satine, so he followed her orders as quiet as possible.

"I don't care if you treat me like your soldier, but I am not your _handmaiden_ " he panted, after his chase for fruit in the region.

Satine was sitting in the corner of their new cave. She looked at him, her eyebrows lifted. "I did not sent you after food, I said _we needed_ food. Those are very different things, you see" she mocked, in a sour tone.

"Now you are just being unpleasant!" Obi-Wan said, frowning. "Why is so difficult to you to be a nice girl like any other girl in the galaxy?!"

Offended, Satine stood up and marched out the cave, without looking back at Kenobi. At first, he felt like he could clap his hands and thank the Force for such a gift that was her silence. An hour later, Satine was still gone and Obi-Wan started feeling bad about what he said. Three hours had passed and the skies began to darken and the duchess wasn't back. Obi-Wan felt guilty and more importantly, he felt like Qui-Gon would kill him if he found out Obi-Wan had lost Satine. 

But then, she was back, safe and sound. The night had fallen and Obi-Wan lighted up a firepit so they could be warm. However, Satine's silence made everything colder.

"Are you hungry?" He asked, so ashamed that his voice was very low. She was sitting in the corner again, her long legs pressed against her chest. She stared at him, her blue eyes as cold as ice, and guilty fulfilled Kenobi's body."I should not have said that to her" he thought bitterly. She didn't answered and turned her eyes away again.

"Do you... Want some water?" He tried again, even though he knew it would never work. Satine didn't even looked at him this time.

"You can't ignore me all night, you know that, don't you?" He insisted but that only made her angrier.

She turned around, giving her back to his stare and Obi-Wan sighed, defeated. The fire was long gone and the night made everything dark and sober. Obi-Wan lied down on the floor, tired but keeping an eye on everything. Satine wasn't asleep as well and she kept the same position, staring at the cave's wall.

After all, she could ignore him all night.

 

The next day was even worse. Obi-Wan and Satine erased their footprints and other hints of their location then left the cave. The rendezvous-point was really far, but Kenobi believed they could make it there within a couple of weeks. Satine might have listened to his words, but she didn't answered.

Her silence made the journey terrible and Obi-Wan wished that she would start complaining again about everything. She didn't and he knew she wouldn't, for he said the worst thing he could ever had said to her. "How was I supposed to know she was so easily offended? They don't teach girl stuff in the Jedi Temple!" He thought bitterly.

She marched in front of him, so Obi-Wan would have her back in case someone was following them and he could sense danger, so she was safe going ahead. Their distance was something safe that usually made Obi-Wan quite happy and less likely of killing her.

But now she didn't say a word for almost twelve hours and he was worried. It was nightfall again when they finally hid amongst the flowers, without the possibility of making fire. Obi-Wan told her to sleep and she ignored him; then he told her to eat and she ignored him. Kenobi finally understood what Master Qui-Gon meant when he advised him to not upset Duchess Satine of Mandalore. She was incredibly annoying about anything.

Taking courage, Obi-Wan sighed and mumbled to her. "I'm sorry" his voice was so low she almost didn't heard him.

Satine looked at him, her left eyebrow lifted. He took a deep breath, trying not to strangle her for her stubbornness.

"That was mean and to be fair, I didn't mean that. I was angry and anger lead me out of the light path. I'm sorry." He said, staring at her.

Satine swallowed her pride and after a while she replied: "You said awful things to me." Her voice was overwhelmed by her feelings and Obi-Wan saw clearly how offended she was about that little offense. "Those words hurt me."

"I don't see you getting easily hurt by words, duchess." Obi-wan said with a smirk on his face. Satine didn't share the happy compliment. "You do not know me at all." She said, her voice becoming stone again. "And do not worry... I would not tell Master Jinn about it."

"I'm-- Thank you!" He said politely, for he knew she would be mad if he disagreed with her again on that matter too.

Obi-Wan let that one go.


	2. Rose

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Next morning was happier than the previous one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HEY THERE HO THERE HI THERE! Another chapter, this is getting worse than I thought!  
> I do not know english THAT well, so there might have some grammar mistakes!!  
> DO NOT KILL ME. T H A N K Y O U!

Next morning was happier than the previous one. Satine was still mad but she started the complains once again. Obi-Wan cursed himself for desiring such things but she was back and her soft voice was better than her cold silence.

They managed to achieve a great distance that day, working together, even though they kept their fight the whole day. Obi-wan and Satine were clearly different beings and they could nothing about it. They never agreed on anything and every subject was a reason to argue about it. But somehow, they found a way to work together.

They were tired when the sunset arrived, slowly taking the gold skies of Mandalore. Obi-Wan was grateful that the trees were tall, so no ship could find them there. Qui-Gon seemed to had been successfull on his mission; the bounty hunters never showed up in their way.

Satine found a cave and they hid there, lighting a fire to be warm and make some food. "You're still mad at me" Obi-Wan said, while roasting some fruit he found earlier.

Satine stared at him, confused.

"I'm not!" She said, staring at his eyes, deeply.

"Yes, you are and I can see it in your eyes. Also, I'm a Jedi, I can sense you're disturbed by something. There's a lot of anger inside of you" he explained calmly.

She took a while before answering him, eating her fruit. They have been living because of fruit and water they found, nothing more, because Satine did not want to harm any animals that crossed their way. Obi-Wan was a little mad about it; he usually had a great lunch in the Jedi Temple or was able to buy something on the cantinas around the worlds. He was getting sick of fruit, but again, he did not want to upset the young duchess.

She sighed, looking so vulnerable he got scared.

"You do not understand how difficult this is to me, to see my people getting killed and threatened, while I need to run and hide like a coward." she said, in a very low tone. Her eyes were wet with tears, but never dropped them. "I believe in peace and diplomacy, you see. I don't know how to fight nor have any interest in doing it, even though it is necessary. I care for my people, but my advisors are, well... They are older and they often remind me of how young and naive I am."

"I do not think you're a coward nor naive at all. I mean, you make a hell of my life and you can be very annoying and get everything you want only by being unpleasant." Obi-Wan replied and quickly added "Not saying it by insult. These words only show how determined you are about the things you want and care for. You should not care about them, duchess."

Her silence let Obi-Wan know that she wasn't happy at all but his hands were tied. He could do nothing except take her to safety and protect her during their journey  _and_ give her advices.

"Nevermind" she said, wiping her tears away "We should move on."

 Again, they erased the hints of their pathway and started another long walking through the trees. Obi-Wan was getting tired of that journey; it was completely dangerous yes, but somehow it just got boring. All they did was walking, talking, yelling at each other, then walking again, and eating and resting a little then  yelling again. It was a routine and he was exhausted of following it.

For more eight hours they walked and ran, hiding everytime they heard a strange noise or something. Satine was sadder than she was that evening, walking slowly and sobbing all the time. Obi-Wan felt guilty again, even if now it wasn't his fault. He did not wanted to hurt her feelings; that time, was Satine _herself_ whom was hurting her own feelings.

Finally, they reached a huge tree, which could serve as a shield for them while they were resting a little bit. Satine lied down on the floor, messing her already messed up clothes. Obi-Wan stared at her, feeling miserable about her pain. He could sense it and understand it better than she could know. He poked her, carefully.

"Satine" he called.

She turned around and stared at him, wide eyes. Obi-Wan, then, gave her the smashed rose he kept since they left their flower hideout. It was dark, but he knew she blushed.

And so did he.

 

 

"I'm breaking the Code!" he mumbled to himself, while sleeping. Two nights ago, he gave her a rose, a simple gift of condolence, but he didn't feel like that. Obi-Wan was thrilled by her reaction the next morning and she smiled and blushed.

"But it wasn't like, courting nor flirting. No! We despise each other! She shouldn't feel like I was flirting!" he thought, his own mind-fighting driving him crazy. Satine did not said a word about that, not at all, but Obi-Wan started a war with himself for no other reason than the fact he begin to realise how beautiful she was.

While she walked, he stared for a long instant, then he realised what he was doing and told himself to stop. Satine was eating and he was watching; she was resting and he was admiring her, like she was sort of a portrait or artistic hologram. He didn't know how to stop. Obi-Wan kept torturing himself for three more days, a pain he couldn't control and impossible to understand. He was angry because she wasn't feeling that torture and it was all her fault.

He knew nothing about it.

 

That smashed flower made Satine struggle for the same days Obi-Wan had tortured himself, she just didn't know about it. Their casual conversations made everything harder, for they both were hiding their imminent torture, except they did not say it out loud. "I'm the Duchess of Mandalore, no flower will make me feel embarassed!" she told herself quietly, yet, that did not work at all. She tried to blame him, forbeing nice when she needed. It didn't work either.

Every single time their eyes met, she blushed and so he did and they would be quiet for hours then. She was walking and Satine knew he was watching, but wasn't brave enough to tell him to approach neither to yell at him for being such a pervert. At dinner time, she would eat and he would stare at her, forcing her to pretend she did not noticed that. At night, she would try to rest, but she could not sleep, for that was huge distance between them she wanted to cover and he kept looking at her with that wide eyes.

"I'm so confused" she told herself, holding her own hands. She didn't know what to do.

She knew nothing about it.


	3. Fairytales

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Qui-Gon's back and Satine shares a story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello there!  
> I wanted to say THANK you for the kudos, it means a lot to me and I wanted to say i'm sorry for the delay, I'm a slow writer and English is not my native language.  
> I KNOW this fanfic sounds dull and everything, so I recommend you to read Mandalorian Quest, that has much more story than just random angst towards this couple.  
> In any case, pardon me for my grammar/coherence c:

 

It was nightfall when Qui-Gon reached them at the valley, tall trees hiding them from any ship that might had tried to track them down. Satine was relieved that he had showed up; not only because she cared about the Jedi master, but because she had an excuse to avoid Obi-Wan Kenobi and his failed attempts to fix their turbulent relationship.

"I'm glad you both solved your differences" Qui-Gon said, his deep blue greyish eyes staring at the Duchess. Satine managed to give him a smile; a sick, embarrassed smile.

"If only that were true" she thought bitterly. Their bickering might had stopped, but their differences were a nightmare Satine couldn't stop having.

"I'm glad you are back, master!" Obi-Wan said, his voice filled with relief. Satine felt a bittersweet taste in her mouth; however, how could she blame him for being relieved when She felt the same way?

"I'm afraid the bounty hunters will track us down soon enough" Qui-Gon said, poking the fire with a branch. "With a bit of luck and the Force's will, we will be able to take the Duchess back to Sundari. Then, we can deal with them."

Satine felt sickened. She has been wanting to come home again since she left it, but now that they were so close to Sundari city, to her palace and throne, she felt unease and depressed. Qui-Gon insisted that they slept, but Obi-Wan told his master to rest a bit. After a long argument, they finally settled that Obi-Wan would take care of them as Qui-Gon rested, along with Satine.

The Duchess, however, couldn't sleep at all. The fire was long gone when midnight took over the skies and their hideout, on the entrance of a cave, was dark and cold.

She crawled until she reached Obi-Wan at the entrance, meditating but very alert, for he simply mumbled an annoyed sigh when she sat by his side.

"Uhm?"

"How many days until we reach Sundari city?" She asked in a whisper, and he didn't even bother to open his eyes. Satine knew he was tense, she could see he was uncomfortable. She wished she could know why he was feeling that way.

"Five or six days, Your Grace" He mumbled and Satine frowned. "If we are not delayed." He added.

"That much?" Satine tried to sound as if she did care, but deep down, she was clearly disappointed they were so close to the New Mandalorian capital.

"Five days and I will be home after three months away" she thought bitterly "And yet, this weird feeling has taken over me, making me wonder things I shouldn't even dream about."

"You do sound most displeased." Obi-Wan said, surprised, his smile mocking her, his eyes still closed.

"And so do you." She retorted with disdain, her eyebrows raised as a mocking expression that suddenly turn itself into a pain she couldn't understand quite well.

He never denied what she claimed, which made her shiver. Obi-Wan was fully connected to the Force, she could see it on his serene expression.

"Why are you here?" He suddenly asked and Satine grinned.

"Well, we've been on the run for like, three months now, and--"

"What I meant was, why are you awake?" He retorted, frowning his eyebrows in an angry expression.

"I'm anxious!"

"And why is that?"

"Well, I-- I don't know quite well!" Satine confusingly mumbled, for she knew her reasons very well, yet saying them, out loud, would make everything worse. That was her number one rule: Saying things that only exist inside your mind would only make them real, in this case, never say what are only thoughts. "I want to share a story"

Obi-Wan stared at her, big blue eyes as sharp as a Mandalorian kad. She could almost see his struggle through his gaze. "He is a Jedi, and he no longer comprehends the emotions as I do" Satine thought, her throat as dry as the deserts of Tatooine.

"Why so?"

"You are not good at social things, are you?" She gave him a crooked smile, and his hurt gaze filled her with guilt. "I am sorry. I cannot sleep. Let me tell you what steals my dreams from me."

  
  
  


"When I was a child, my father told me the story of our clan" Satine's voice was sweet and she had a heavy accent that always made Obi-Wan numb and dreamy. The past days, he realised he was paying too much attention to a Duchess with views that clashed against his. But she was passionate, angrily passionate, about her ideals and the way she had spoken about then almost converted Obi-Wan. "It was full with violence and crimes and wars... I didn't want that to be the story of the blood I carried within my veins. Then I had a dream and I changed it so I could have a new story for myself."

"Very proper" Obi-Wan grinned, and Satine shook her head in disapproval.

"I dreamed of the Ancestors, those who first founded the Mandalorian cities and their clans. Mandalore of my dreams were bright, and colourful, and filled with water and trees - far beyond the reality. The Ancestors lived on a valley, close to another valley, that happened to be corrupted by a blight that came out of some native creatures no one ever understood.'

"Oh, how spooky!" Obi-Wan made fun of Satine, making her upset.

"Hush! In any case, the Mandalorian were only one group with hundreds of people and they were attacked by the creatures. Then one day, they decided to march upon the monsters. They failed, for the monsters outnumbered them. Nearly everyone died." Satine sighed, staring at Obi-Wan's hands. He felt even more uncomfortable and took a look on Qui-Gon to make sure his master were asleep. "Then, guided by some random energy, which I think it would be the Force, the head of my clan led the survivors until they reached a waterfall. The sight on the horizon was beautiful, blue skies and turquoise water, deep green trees and deliciously colourful flowers and fruit. He jumped in the water and the other followed, swimming and drowning, while chasing for the promised land. The river became a deep blue sea as ink then turned into river again, light blue water everywhere and the deep sea came again. They were spilled on a beach, a few days later. There, they founded the Mandalorian original capital and the clans."

"You truly are a great storyteller, your Ladyship" Obi-Wan said, a simple murmur in the middle of the night. He hoped Qui-Gon didn't wake up so soon mostly now, that Satine reached for his hand. Her fingers were cold and sweaty, and he didn't want to look at her, so they held hands, but stared at the sky.

"I am never sure if you are mocking me or being polite, when you call me by Duchess or Ladyship." She added carefully and Obi-Wan smiled.

"A bit of both maybe" he said "You said you wanted to believe this story better than your father's story. Why don't you change the archives of Mandalore?"

"One does not teach someone that violence is wrong without showing them what violence causes" Satine said in a whisper, the same way Obi-Wan knew she did before when the matters were pacifism. "Not that believe that we should be violent before being pacifists, but I can't erase what is part of our culture and history. Hundreds of Civil Wars ruined Mandalore - it is about time we learn how to leave peacefully."

"In your dream, the creatures decimated your people, yet, you left them alone." he asked, ignoring his stomach leap when she came closer, shoulder to shoulder. She now smelled of herbs and river water, but Obi-Wan imagined that she once smelled as the sweetest and most rare flowers Mandalore could ever grow. "They were clearly dangerous."

"Even extremists can be reasoned with, but in that case, they were monsters but native monsters. We just left them where they belonged."

"Mandalorian people would love to hunt those monsters"

Satine looked right into his eyes. He could sense her anger; she hated when he mentioned Mandalorian violent past whcih  he did quite often. "She hates everything she can't control." He thought amused.

"Mandalorian people hunted Jedi, yet-- we're--" She started, but stopped before finishing the sentence. She look right into his eyes, and Obi-Wan realised they were so close now that he could see the moonless sky reflected on her eyes. Their noses touched it other by accident and he moved his head the other way, feeling her breath right on his face.

Then, something moved behind them and Obi-Wan moved quickly away from her; he could see Satine rolling her eyes and looking at the opposite way he was. Qui-Gon yawned and stood up, reaching them at the entrance. He touched Obi-Wan’s shoulder.

“It’s time for you to rest a bit, Padawan” the Jedi master said, taking his apprentice’s place on the entrance of the cave. Satine sighed, exchanging some very meaningful glances with Obi-Wan. “And I remember telling you to rest too, your Ladyship.”

“I was-- complaining that your Padawan believes too much on the violence of Mandalore” she murmured, curling herself up on her coat. “One day, perhaps, he will see that I’m not who he thinks I am.”

Obi-Wan sighed, slightly amused with Satine’s lies.

“You’re an awful liar, Satine” he thought and in a few minutes, Obi-Wan was drowned on a dream of a Promised Land.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think of it!

**Author's Note:**

> If you like, give me a comment and help me! c:


End file.
